(403): I’m going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
(540): I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
(617): I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman’s vagina. The entire time I was thinking “this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes.”.
I honestly expect reblogs from all of my followers that are online right now. I don’t care what kind of blog you have, this is important to me.
Happy 1 Year Ella, I love you so much :)
And I can’t wait until May when our first son joins us (and stops putting you through so much pain all of the time :( ) and we can get our family started (albeit it earlier then we had planned).
Here’s to year 2 being even better then year number 1 was!
Day 1 - Watching the Smurfs with some peeps!!
Awesome start to the new year!
(361): Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.